Stop Telephonin' Me

There's a reason why my phone has a longer Missed Calls list than a Received Calls list.

Could be due to the inarguable truth that I am asleep 90% of the time so I can't answer my calls.

But usually it's because I hate getting phone calls, or making phone calls for that matter.

Phone calls terrify me. There's something eerily disconcerting about hearing someone else's voice but not seeing him. I just don't know when to start talking, or when to stop. I just generally don't know what to say. There's also the idea that when I'm on a phone call, I feel obligated to make the conversation running and interesting. It doesn't even matter that I wasn't the one who initiated the call. I feel the same way anyway.

Phone calls with me often go like this:

Me: "Hello?"

Other Person: (blah blah blah)

Me: "Yes. You?"

Other Person: (blah blah)

Me: ........................................................................

Other Person: (blah blah blah)

Me: "Ah."

Other Person: (blah blah blah)

Me: .........................................................................

.................................................................................

.................................................................................

.................................................................................

..................................................................................

Other Person: (blah blah blah)

Me: ..........................................................................

..................................................................................

..................................................................................

Other Person: "Were you already sleeping?" "Did I wake you?"

Me: "Huh? Uh... no."

Other Person: "You sound like you're asleep."

Me: .......................................................................... "U-huh."

Other Person: (blah blah blah)

Me: ..........................................................................

..................................................................................

Other Person: (blah blah blah)

I push the end call button.

And then send a text that says, "Sorry. Dunno what happened. There must be something wrong with the network connection."

You don't want to call me.