Friday, July 23, 2010

Matt and Price

Eating cold, overnight french fries is like getting a high score in a Math test. They're both disgusting but you'd never have guessed it could taste so good.

It's almost two in the afternoon and I just had my first meal for the day: a tall cup of iced tea, two slices of wheat bread, two cheese dogs and four slices of ham (which I feel has started spoiling, I wish I'll get stomach sick later). I eat meat, obviously. I love meat. That's why I'll never be a vegetarian. Simply thinking about it makes me foam in the mouth with madness. Talking about vegetarianism always reminds me of this video I saw on Youtube once. It was an interview with this blonde super model who claimed she was a vegetarian and never eats meat. The interviewer asked her what types of food she eats then, and the model replied, "Chicken." The interviewer looked surprised of course, but after two seconds of looking at her face you'd see a smirk was playing on the corners of her mouth. She asked again, "Why do you eat chicken? Isn't chicken an animal?" The model of course had a ready answer to that, in fact, she seemed offended by the question. She answered, "No, of course not. Chicken is a bird." There you have it. I have always felt that the words blonde and vegetarian in the same sentence will always spell hilarity. I'm hoping this model is not a part of and is not planning to be a part of PETA. She could ruin them.

And yeah, I am eating old and cold overnight french fries.

Friday, July 9, 2010

an apple a day

I once read that Christian Bale went through a one month diet (EVERY single day of the month) of...


to look like THIS

I wonder if I could do that.

Sure, I could afford to lose some weight

(will be good for the body and the self-esteem, it's a win-win situation).

But man, I'd turn to dust the first day I try eating just a can of sardines and medium-sized apple (how does one even measure apples anyway?)

So, probably not.

Besides, I wouldn't want to look like someone out of a zombie B movie.

At least not for everyday of my life.

I gotta hand it to Mr. Bale.
He may be crazy, but he's a crazy man with a purpose.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

urbanize your vocab

I for one, think that is one of the most genius inventions ever. It's a website where regular people, and often times, the not so regular ones, (the crazy ones that I have stronger affinity with) put down their definitions of random words. Not only is it immensely helpful (I say that without a trace of sarcasm. Lol), it is hugely entertaining as well. And if I have learned anything about myself for the last 21 years that I have, well, been living with myself, it's the fact that I would love anything entertaining. I could witness someone hurt himself and be amused. I could watch someone on " Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" say that Europe is a country and be rolling on the floor (it's really pretty sad, actually). I could watch someone ruin his speech in front of a big crowd and be entertained.

Schadenfreude, bitches. :)

Going back to Urban Dictionary, my friends Myrtle and Joyce and I would sometimes spend the afternoon looking up random words on the website and killing ourselves with laughter. It was specially hilarious when we came across definitions of these weird, unfathomable teenage American celebrities that teeny boppers all over the world have made it their sole mission in life to follow on Twitter.


Miley Cyrus - "Someone who could kill Chuck Norris with her singing."
definition by: metallkidd93

Yes, exactly. I thought Chuck Norris was indestructible too!!!

If you're still not sold, here's another one. Still on Miley Cyrus because she's just so adorable and talented that it wrenches my guts out.

Miley Cyrus - "Hitler combined with the average head cheerleader."
definition by: OliviaaaC.

Now, you see why my friends and I get such a hang out of Urban Dictionary? Yeah, I bet you still don't, so I prepared some of my favorite definitions of random words:

1. Beer

Proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Homer Simpson

The reason I get up in the morning and pass out at night. - Funk Naz-T

A magic potion used to make people of the opposite sex look better. - smoog

2. Pizza

Greatest food ever. Otherwise known as the 7th food group and the most needed. - Skiff

The food of the gods. - Ky'lath


People Easting Tasty Animals. - Big Bad Bastard

A hypocritical organization that will never be successful in the Arctic regions, Siberia, New Zealand, the desert regions of Australia, Muslim-dominated countries, China, Scotland, Iceland, and the developing nations of Africa, Asia, Central America, or South America.

Also notice that the People of Ethical Treatment of Animals seem to favor the cute, cuddly-wuddly, furry animals. What about the insects and arachnids? What about the fish, mollusks, and crustaceans? What about the bacteria? What about the reptiles? What about humans? Don't they all have rights too? Would it be animal cruelty if one washes with antibacterial soap? - sarcastic

4. HBO

A silent reaper. By day, it shows movies that we all love! By night, it's a porn channel! - TheNightReaper

Horrible Body Odor. - Daeron B

5. Indie Music

A band that sucks so bad that they're not able to get a label. - The True Tune Lover

Musicians who probably learned all that they know from The Beatles.

Urbanize your vocab and have some good 'ol fun!

signs that'll make you go lol

I recently came across these hilarious signs while surfing the web. They basically speak for themselves so let's just get down to it.

Specificity is always appreciated.

Now this is some scary shit.

I guess sometimes it's really necessary to spell things out to people.

photo credits:

Saturday, July 3, 2010

oh andy, andy

Now I know exactly what my first boyfriend would look like.

Looking at Andrew Garfield breaks my heart and makes my mouth water.

Both at the same time.

I wonder which is the healthier reaction.