one of those days

I have a dilemma.

I'm at this point in my life where I absolutely don't know what to do.

On one hand there is contentment, a rather uninspired satisfaction that anchors me to where I am. I am certain that if I died now, I would be fine. I would not come back to haunt people. I would leave quietly, trying not to trip on anyone along the way.

But on the other hand, I want to feel something more than uninspired satisfaction. I want to see more of what makes life beautiful. I want to hear more. I want to taste more. Touch more. Feel more. Be more. More. More. More.

But I understand that this intensity is terrifying. This aching for more from life will make me want to hold on to it harder. It would make it difficult to let go when the time comes for me to do so.

That is my dilemma.

And also I don't know what I'm having for breakfast tomorrow.