a poem for saturn

If I blew out the candle...

Would I finally bask in sunlight?

Or will I have to keep stabbing my shadows in the dark, dark, night?

If I blew out the candle...

Would there be poetry, singing and dancing?

Or will afternoons pass by with a silence so deafening?

If I blew out the candle...

Would I get to shake your hand?

Or will I lay my eyes on what in Oz they found?

If I blew out the candle...

Would I finally feel better?

Or will I be left wishing that that gust of wind came later?

If I blew out the candle...

Would there be hope for redemption?

Or will salvation elude me forever?

If I blew out the candle...

Would there be answers to my whys?

Or will I need to listen to another fictional tale spawned from even more lies?

If I blew out the candle...

Would the world remember?

Or will I be another box in the attic, filled with letters from a long forgotten lover?

If I blew out the candle...

Would I still get a gin, wine or a beer?

Or will I need to press on sane and sober?

If I blew out the candle...

Would I meet a friend, a companion?

Or will I have to live solo, like another Crusoe?

If I blew out the candle...

Would I still dream?

Or will consciousness lock me away in its realm?

If I blew out the candle...

Would there be laughter?

Or will tears keep the streets flooded like rains do in December?

If I blew out the candle...

Would I know of love and compassion?

Or will they take to the skies and defy capture?

If I blew out the candle...

If I did so in defeat and surrender

If I shook my head and said, "I cannot go on any longer ,"

Would you pick me up, and carry me on your back like a toddler?

If I blew out the candle...

If I made you cry, broke you down, and wore you out..

Would you still ruffle my hair, like a father might?

Would you still stand by my side?

Would you still want to hold my hand?

Would you still look at me like I have made you proud?

If I blew out the candle...

If once, twice, and a hundred times I went under...

Would you smile at me and promise it will soon be over?

If I blew out the candle...

Would you bring me to life? Would you yell out a battle cry and fight?

If I blew out the candle...

Would you ignite the fire in my heart?