coo koo

I like babies. When I say I like them, I mean I can stand them. I mean I can be in the same room with them.

Sure they do nothing but sleep and feed on their mother's breasts and when they smell, they smell really bad. But they can be fun.

Like when they eat their toes. Or when they smoke cigarettes. Or when they make those fencing poses in their sleep.

But when they start doing something like this, I freak out.

Sure I can balance them in both arms for thirty seconds or maybe even bounce them around with my knees like a soccer ball (I know squat about soccer), but what if they want to be held for longer than that?

Commitment. Nothing could be scarier.