resurrection

Boy, it's been a while since I wrote anything here.

I'm afraid that in the past few months, I have dried up, turned into dust and has gone with the wind to the darkest, farthest corners of the Earth. To tell you the truth, I'm still looking for the rest of my body.

For the past few months I have been..

staring into blinding nothingness
listening to a dumbfounding silence
feeling a heartbreaking coldness

For the past few months I found myself taking a few steps to where drama kings and queens take their afternoon walks. I can't say I liked it.

I used to think that if I figured out why I was so detached, unsatisfied and to some degree, sad and regretful then I would be okay. I used to think that if I spent some time with the people that I enjoyed spending time with, then it would be like I was cutting up my sorrows into little pieces and throwing them out to the sea where they would end washed up at shore somewhere far enough not to mean anything anymore. I used to think that if I did not think about it, then I would forget that I was feeling unhappy.

But I have tried all those and none seemed to work.

So I guess, that's why I'm back to the drawing board.

Now come here and welcome me with a big, bone-breaking hug.